i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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