I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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