Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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