ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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