Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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