do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
