I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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