Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
