So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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