I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
