do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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