my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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