i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
