there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
