You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
