i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
