susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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