Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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