38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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