I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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