i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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