There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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