I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
