I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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