Soap is not a condiment
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
