Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sobbing to NWA
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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