my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
