no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
