omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
