how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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