Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can I color on your dick again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
