5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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