Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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