i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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