omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
