A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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