I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just tell him i said nine months
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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