FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
