It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
