hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
