the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
