That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
