Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
