What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
