Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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