maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
