woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
