There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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