She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
