Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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