Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
