woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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