Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize