Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
