I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize