So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
