Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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