It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
