She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize